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CBT and Happiness

CBT, Cognitive Behavioral  Therapy Colorado – Are You Unhappy? I’m Here to help you

The other day a client stated she was completely unhappy and had no idea why. She complained that her neighbors were loud, her daughter’s life was a mess, and her friends were stupid.

While visiting with her, I realized she was completely unaware that she plays a major role in her own happiness.

She chose not to be annoyed by the behavior of the people around her. She looked for things that irritated her, focused on them then looked for people to whom she could complain. 

CBT Therapy Colorado - Are You Unhappy? I'm Here to help you - Counseling Connection LLC

Tolerance is a willingness or ability to tolerate a person or thing. Tolerance is related to being happy, and the key word here is willingness. If you sit home and wait for your neighbors to make noise, you’re going to hear them.

If you analyze your friend’s behavior and then complain about it, it’s going to aggravate you. If you magnify the things you can’t tolerate by focusing on them and talking about them, you’re working on being unhappy.

Learning tolerance takes practice, real practice. The first step is deciding you don’t want to be unhappy anymore. Negative thoughts and conversations zaps energy from you and sucks positive energy from others around you. Happiness gives energy to you and those around you.

Check your thinking. When you’re feeling angry or unhappy thoughts look for the source. Decide if the focus is really worth your focus and if you have control of the situation.  If not, choose to focus on something else.

Next, find something else to do.  Go for a walk, join clubs, read, anything that will take your mind off the things that are making you unhappy.

Begin noticing things that you like about people, Susan’s a name dropper, but she also volunteers three times a week. Your neighbors are noisy but they love to play card games.

Changing thought patterns takes practice, if you would like additional  support making this or other important changes in your life call Louann Hillesland at Counseling Connection  303-721-0005.